Four Tips for a More Positive Life

Years ago I was often accused having a negative attitude. To some point I’d agree. My negativity was often totally illogical. I’d book a holiday and until the plane took off I was sure something was going to happen to stop me going. Yet in the same light I’d walk out of job interviews determined I’d just got the job because I’d “nailed the interview.” When it came to other people I was always very positive. In fact, if anyone else had said something like “We’ve booked a holiday, but you know, something will happen and we won’t go,” I’d have questioned why they thought that and convinced them to think differently.

Reflection is a great process at times like these. So that’s what I did; I reflected on why I was negative in some circumstances and overly positive in others. I looked at how it felt to live through both situations and how my mood and attitude changed in each. I also looked at how my relationships, both personal and professional, were affected during these times. Through this reflection and coaching I managed to reframe my thought process and discovered the very simply yet rarely followed rule that life is so much easier when you have a positive attitude. You’d think, given it’s common sense, that more people would know this but there’s a truth behind not seeing something no matter how much it’s staring us in the face.

Being more positive has a vast array of results, from your interactions with other people to your own personal success. Below are four steps to help you be more positive.

1. Remove Comparisons.
Comparing yourself to someone is fine until you decide you want to be better than them. All that will happen is you’ll overtake this person and find, just past them, is the next person you’re going to start comparing yourself to. Look at your own successes, of which there are many if you look at them all, and acknowledge them. Work on the areas you think need improvement rather than working to be better and more successful than someone else.

2. Learn.
This can be in any number of ways. Take courses in subjects you like or join clubs and organisations that revolve around hobbies you enjoy. Why not go to your local library and take out a book on self help in an area you’d like to improve. While you’re at it take out a book in a genre you like and take some time for yourself as well.

3. Accept, embrace and reframe failure.
Thomas Edison was once asked how it felt to have failed over 700 times. He replied “I haven’t failed at all, I’ve simply proved seven hundred ways it didn’t work.” This is the perfect acceptance, embrace and reframing of failure. He accepted that some aspects of his work had failed, he took these failures on board and reframed it to make it a success.

4. Live in the now.
Bill Keane said “Yesterday is the past, tomorrow is the future, today is a gift. That’s why they call it the present.” You cannot change the past so don’t dwell on it as it’ll only breed negativity. Instead live for today. Appreciate the things you experience.


What tips do you have for living a positive life?

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Our beliefs and values. How Guilt Can Change Us

Our core values are what guide us and when they come into conflict it can cause your thoughts to become complicated.  You may not understand why you feel the way you do because you've never looked deeply at your values.

The article below, from Frederick Fabella, explains how one area of conflict can cause the feelings of guilt.

Circumstances may time and again move us to act in ways contrary to how we see ourselves. Maybe it happens unexpectedly without our intention. Or perhaps doing so was convenient at the time. But when our actions are inconsistent with our beliefs, how does this affect us?

When we do something that contradicts the values we believe in or when we find ourselves acting in ways that run counter to our self image, our mind struggles with this inconsistency. We get disturbed. We feel uncomfortable. We become distressed. Tension is created within us, because our very behavior now poses a threat to the way we see ourselves.

To illustrate this, the act of lying when we strongly believe in honesty can produce this tension. Some would refer to this tension as guilt.

Our mind struggles with this contradiction between behavior and belief. Anxiety is thus created. To rid ourselves of this mental discomfort, we are driven to a decision. We become faced with a choice between atoning for this apparently inconsistent act or changing our view of ourselves in order to accommodate this seemingly alien behavior of ours.

If we choose to keep our valued beliefs – if we do not want our self-image threatened by this inconsistent behavior, then our likely decision would be to compensate. In romantic relationships, this is often the case when one of the partners commits an act of dishonesty. The guilty partner feels bad and becomes compelled to do something good like buy a gift for the innocent partner. Sometimes, it becomes obvious to the innocent partner especially when the guilty partner doesn’t usually do things like this. This compensatory act is however not for the innocent partner’s benefit. The guilty partner does this in order to clean his tarnished self image and restore his self esteem. A further consequence of this is the possibility that the guilty partner will make a promise to himself to avoid a repetition of this threatening behavior. Behavior thus changes in favor of the belief. In our example, the partner who lied will not only give presents to the innocent partner, but will also resolve not to lie again.

This compensatory act happens in many parallel situations throughout different types of social interactions. It is usually the case that guilt unexpectedly drives a person to do something good.

But what if the act becomes more important to the individual than his self image? What happens when the individual is not moved to compensate for this inconsistent behavior? Using our earlier illustration, instead of compensating for the act of lying, the individual decides to adopt this new behavior. This will result in a modification of his self image. In this case, it is the belief that will change in favor of the new behavior. The partner who lied will feel ok with lying and won’t be bothered when he lies again in the future.

Changing the way we see ourselves in order to adopt a new and inconsistent behavior is the probable outcome when one’s self image is not very clear. An undefined character is often prone to change each time the social pressures of a novel situation are encountered. Self awareness is extremely important in the continued integrity of one’s identity. An examination of our values, attitudes and beliefs fosters a clear mental picture of ourselves allowing our actions and our self image to remain consistent with each other. This will permit one’s character to stay intact, regardless of the situation in which we find ourselves.


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©2017 Frederick Fabella

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Today I had the pleasure of attending a panel discussion by the National LGBT Helpline called “The Internet. Hero of Villain of our Mental Health.” This is part of their #ItsGOODtoTalk campaign and marks the start of their involvement with this years Dublin Pride.

There were three panelist; Colman Noctor, James Patrice and Ian Power, and the host was Dil Wickremasinghe. The event was launched by the minster for Mental Health and Older People, Helen McEntee. It was being held in partnership with Air and in their HQ in Dublin.

Continue reading “#ItsGOODtoTalk”

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Helping out on the registration desk at the Maree 8km Road Race. ©2017 RobPartridgeLGE

At school I was always told that if I couldn’t get a job I should look at filling my time with volunteering because it looks good on your CV. This was great advice although at the time it left me thinking “Erm, why do you think I won’t get a job?”

Ignoring those negative thoughts I took on board the idea of volunteering and since then have had some amazing experiences through it.

One event I never saw myself attending was the “Bulldog Bash” This is biker event started by the Hells Angels in 1987 and taking place at the disused airfield that used to be RAF Long Marston. Approximately 50’000 people would turn up during the August bank holiday weekend and all sorts of activities would take place. Continue reading “Volunteering”

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LGBT Conference

I spent the weekend in Kilkenny.  My purpose was to attend a conference for the National LGBT Helpline.  As the coordinator of the Galway branch of the helpline my role is be there as a support for the Galway volunteers, as well as recruitment and training of any new volunteers.  I essentially ensure the Galway line functions as part of the national line.  It’s an honour to be in the this role but it was also an honour to be asked to speak at the conference.

Continue reading “LGBT Conference”

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SocDems Training Day

Catherine Murphy and the new Social Democrats Local Area Representatives

Yesterday was a training day for my role with the Social Democrats.  We met at the Maldron in Portlaoise and discussed topics from leaflet design to getting the most our of a press release.

Continue reading “SocDems Training Day”

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GAP Go Strictly

Contestants Leanne Coyne & James Connolly with MC Rob Partridge – Source: GAP Facebook – ©Peter Fealy Photography

Saturday April 15th saw seven couples take the dance floor at the Clayton Hotel, Galway, in a “Strictly Come Dancing” style competition in aid of the Galway Autism Partnership.


I was honoured to be the master of ceremonies for the night and feel like I had a special insight into what the couples were going through given that I entered a similar competition for Weight Watchers around three years ago.


Continue reading “GAP Go Strictly”

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